The alarm rings at 4:30. I wake up at 5:15. The bad hair day celebration has to continue, no time to wash my hair. College days, its almost the same everyday. No two things are similar, every instant is different. I get on the Nepal Yatayat, ah..my road to stardom?? The driver must have had news overdose in the 19 days of confinement for he doesn’t tune to any FM. There are only 7 to 15 passengers on the bus. I tune to Image FM late, only to catch the reminder of the headlines. The army raped a 22-year-old girl named Sapana Gurung in Belbari somewhere in Dharan. I switch to Kantipur FM. It is the first news. 6 people more were killed in the firing by the Royal Nepalese Army at people who were protesting against the raping and killing on the girl. 22 only but a mother of two children. The 7-year-old daughter says the “army uncles” took her mother from the bed itself. She was gang raped by 6 army men. Her Bala was found nearby. The army fired continuously for more than 5 minutes at the protestors. More than two dozen people were injured. It insists it was an act of self-defense, but eyewitnesses say no prior warning was given before firing the shots.
I can’t think coherently when I hear of rape cases. I go insane. Sanity isn’t an option for anyone. Men, men, men, army men, family men, fathers, brothers, boyfriends- rapists. Rape isn’t about the desire to have sex. It is more of power. Researches state. I love this saying “ What vain unnecessary creatures men are and how well we do without them”. Every single rape case I hear of makes me want to do away with every man in sight. Yah! Don’t lecture me the same thing time and again; don’t generalize, not all men are the same. The hell with that **** reasoning (Don’t apologize for ur French Mr Twaaks..times like these I wish I knew the vulgarities of each and every language on earth) Rape is in debates all over the globe. I was tuned to Outlook in the BBC sometime ago, the story of women in Africa who had been raped. 10-20 years had passed but the trauma existed. 50% of women in Zimbabwe die of domestic violence. I kept the record of the book in office. The case studies robbed me of my peace of mind.
I talked to her some days back, she told me her story. I couldn’t believe my ears. She was fiddling with a stick and as the story progressed she finished digging a hole in the soil. “No, I won’t cry as I tell this story to you this time” she said. “I have become stronger. I was almost paralyzed due to tension” she continued. At her age, so much suffering I was at a loss of words. Since then I tremble every time a guy teases me on the road. Words, they are never enough to show that you care; no action can sometimes fill the void of what you want to say. The squeezing of the hand, the hug all feels shallow devoid of any emotional content. I still resorted to fumbling something…an incomplete expression… unable to convey my message to her. I just didn’t know how to react. “If a guy says he wants to meet you, keep this in mind. Nowhere secluded. Public place. Make sure it is a public place like a movie theatre, restaurants anywhere but public she continued. I laughed and told her I don’t know a single guy who would want to meet me in the first place let alone a date like event…what to think of public or private place. “ Still you never know,” she continued. Its not as simple as reporting to the police, not as simple as Monica Lewinsky’s Clinton affair!!!
Its Nepal. It is Mother’s Day. Our day begins with rape news. The little 7 yr old will remember this Mother’s Day as the one in which her mother was raped and killed. You can’t bring back the dead; you can’t sentence their memories to death.
The next story is: Maoists announce ceasefire for three months. Rape and ceasefire. Ceasefire, no ceasefire men will not stop raping. Are you against capital punishment?
I am too. Watched “The life of David Gale”? Watch it. You will take a firmer stand on your belief. Rapists what to do with them? Hang till death. Who says it? I, who is totally against capital punishment. Yah, for rapists, you can electrocute them, inject them. They deserve to die, nothing less. How dare they? ( sale haru, bhate , gadha….luccha lafanga..) Why, why do men do that? Sometimes it feels as though we women are always at the mercy of men. Why can’t we walk alone at night? Men, men lurking in the dark. They can grab you, molest you, do anything and escape unscathed. Be home by 6-7-8 whatever. Why? Men again. Drunken men, khalasis are out in the evening. It isn’t safe. You dare, you don’t obey. Foul mouthed men everywhere…and 100 things more (can you dare to have the first hand experience? So why walk out late…Men..they are sick,…sick….sick…
P.S (When I started writing I had planned to focus more on the Loktantra Jana Sabha in Tudikhel held today. I was there too from 1-1:30 to 6 , throughout the program.. But I just couldn’t help talking about the first news I heard 2 day morn..Will write about the sabha tomorrow and upload photoz as well…4 now may Sapana Gurung’s soul rest in peace…her kids? Can you compensate a mother’s love by money, a few new pair of outfits, books for school…? The ****ing soldiers must be punished to the maximum possible. May they rot in hell….)