The only good thing about the day was these lines:
And the band played song’s that we’d never heard
But we danced anyway
We never understood the words
We just sang oh la la la la la la la la la la oh
And we danced anyway
ringing in my head from dawn to dusk. I think I got what I wanted but I can’t say for sure that I am happy about it! On the first day, I thought of celebrating in Roadhouse Café but I didn’t. I walked past the tree remembering the time we had laughed clutching our tummies …I couldn’t remember why exactly we had laughed though. It was something I’d said..but I couldn’t remember anything more than that. I didn’t try hard to remember either. Trade and Economics have lengthened my association with Your Area . Many a times I wonder if you would feel ‘alive’ if I lived your dreams. Would it be ‘yours’?
And it’s strange that the old writing is just being discovered. Is there any point in it now? The moment is all gone; the emotions are replaced by something sadder. Then I was inexperienced, now things are different. Now,I don’t think of Perks nor Preity Zinta when I think of death. I only think of you.It only made me sadder. I went through the poem again. I’d NOT wanted to understand it then..this time I didn’t resist and I understood it all…what a comparison…goat, grass, iron hush…I felt the words, literally.
I don’t go there every Fridays either. It’s been ages really. Initially I went there for a couple of times, watched the final rites, the bodies wrapped in yellow, thought of you then I stopped. I call you now and then, the same number. Only missed calls. I wonder who uses it now. We talked of you yesterday too. It was his marriage. You’d said you’d be there, remember?
I would have loved to treat you with a cup of coffee, any place “we” thought posh for “our” kinda celebration in Baluwatar.Everyday I pass by the places we’d planned to go, someday when we’d have money. This would have been enough for a “new” chirdai darlagne kinda territory too but what use I don’t have you. I think of you… Are you happy ? Is it all milk and honey up there? Is it all peace and tranquility? I hope so. I hope life down here is always worse than your place. That way you’ll always be at a comparative advantage It’s a sad place but am your “asabadi” sathi as always……… Miss you. If I could, I would have taken that for you a thousand times and over….
A ramro geet for you:
I think about you – I can’t get no rest
I think about you – there ain’t no one else
Its all I can do – I cant help myself
Ya – I think about you