Somewhere I belong

The warrior of light behaves like a child.
People are shocked, they have forgotten that a child needs to have fun and to play, to be slightly irrevelant and to ask awkward, childish questions, to talk nonsense that not even he believes in.
And they say, horrified: ‘So this is the spiritual path, is it? He’s so immature!’
The warrior feels proud of such comments. And he remains in touch with God through his innocence and his joy, without ever losing sight of his mission.

Paulo Coelho ( Manual of the Warrior of Light)

Its supposed to be a family joke but “making me laugh” is the last thing the so called Gr8 Joke will ever do. Was eight to be exact and was caught red handed talking to a Buffalo 🙂 Don’t know if you find that weird or whatever but it passes as a perfectly sane activity for me. My folks seem to hold a different view, therefore the joke. Its like “Oh I this so this is the Buffalo Whisperer daughter!! “.But that doesn’t deter me from doing the same till date..I walk around in Ktm town passin my “hullo Lonely bull”, “hey sleepy dog” loud and clear. Kamlesh does the same I know, at least he did while on the Jiri Trip going “Oie hawa bol na”. Psycho! :). Bear with me, this psycho guff written above is a necessary evil for what I have to say below.

Am not a social person if “Social animal” holds the exact defination as it did in School Social Studies book. If it is something like the “Bees are a social insect” thing then I am social, well can work in group for that matter. But then…My “Bee like social” nature doesn’t pass me for a interesting character in social gatherings etc. 🙂 So detecting the weird trait in my early childhood itself, mom and dad held the regular “Spend more time mingling with human species and less talking with animals” session every single holiday while home from hostel. As a kid I did go through them all making a face but now they well know its like banging their head against the wall so am Free!!..

You could call me a Loner, am good with people but then making friends, partying the night away isn’t my idea of fun…well love dancing, being out with frens and laughing my heart out, my signature “hahahaha” but then..when it comes to parties like we’re having one morrow “Welcome Party” they say..I feel totally out of place. Its like the overwhelming “Wherever I go, I am the absence” taking over me. The dress babble, the make up chatter ah..leaves me wishing for the umpteenth time that there were at least 5 gals like me. Hmmm..then we could be something like the Geek Gang in “Never Been Kissed” who are Barrymore’s friend coming to the Prom nite dressed up as Gymnasts or astronauts! LOL 🙂

Well, last time I turned up in Da Welcome party in the College t-shirt. But the great excuse was we had the Japanese Project work going on, so no dressing up! 🙂 But I guess when you don’t enhance your girly instincts with time you turn into some kind of weirdo. The Punk style is a great solace but the “Bal Matlab” style doesn’t always work. Well, I have plenty of experience. Trust me.

This time, the usual worries are already there but worst part is Dhungz won’t be there. The chit of a gal is leaving for Tehrathum morrow morn. Bohooohohoh :(, just bid her a long Hug Farewell. Others dudes are busy trying out halters and tanktops. God, will miss dancing with her like last time especially in “Dus Bahane” karke legai dil! hmm….looking forward to dance in “Promiscuous Girl” or boy, whatever by Nelly. Love the beat..but no Akon’s “Lonely”, come on its not something to dance it( not for me atleast).

Nyways my mind is attacked by a myriad of thoughts whenever I am in such places. Everything around me provides so much of food for thought: Girls making sure every one’s complimented them on their good looks, guys watching them from a safe distance across the room, the latest Beyonce dance moves, the show offs, this that…and yah I won’t sulk in the corner for sure. After all I would do anything for a little bit of mental stimulation, just anything for it! hahahah 🙂 Talking of which there’s a Documentary called “Arms for the Poor” being shown at Martin Chautari at 3pm today, only 26 minutes..Be there if you want! N ya if you see any girl in braces..that will be me. Say a Hello! 🙂 Don’t be scared hai, braces aren’t “Arms” of destruction for sure! LOL As for me..gotta head home now, growing hungry.

( this writing must be damn winding and wht not! Bear with me..But who Cares!)
Ani jada jadai… Happy International Peace Day!! N just got the news that there’s a Peace rally being held at around 5:30 too…Be there if you want to give a Shot at Bringing Peace By Rallying!! Byeeeeee

A warrior of light knows that certain moments repeat themselves.
He often finds himself faced by the same problems and situations, and seeing these difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of making any progress in life.
‘I’ve been through all this before,’ he says to his heart.
‘Yes, you have been through all this before,’ replies his heart.
‘But you have never been beyond it.’
Then the warrior realizes that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn.

Paulo Coelho (Manual of the Warrior of Light)



  1. When I was in School my interest was different and my friends proved me that I was different. But i wanted to be in their group. I wanted to mix up with them but no I could not. I could not feel comfortable with their guff.
    Time was running out and I could not run with the society. I went out from the normal circle of society. That was my past.
    When I joined my new job i tried to feel comfortable with colleague. But I think it’s not my cup of tea to be mix up. I have given a name “Computer Worm” here, I love this name. I am happy to be alone.
    it’s depends on your interest.Eventually I happened to know this truth. You too care only those person who have similar interest as you have.
    Yes, but i have noticed one thing that why my interest does not exit everywhere as others exist? Why people are not interested to dance when I dance? Why people don’t talk about politics when they have tea in groups? Why do they talk about chiya, chini and tarkari? Why do my all friends wear make up? Why don’t they want to go Khulamanch? Why do they read Kamnalagne Patrika? Why am I like this? Why don’t I wear make up? Why i go alone in Jungle? Why don’t I scare? Why?
    No answer!

  2. Say, so wish you went to the same college as me right now. And so many times I ask myself if seeking one person like me, almost an extension of myself is too much to wish for. To give a high five agreeing on this weird sense of beauty n fun people have. To just share with the person , saying : That is what I call Trying Desperately to look beautiful. those layers of makeup, that unnecessary waste of money on those danglings which serve no purpose…this wasting of too much money by the ones who don’t earn a penny and the simple life of the ones that do….that smothering your skirt and arrangin ur hair so worried of the way you look than having fun…Ah…I wonder when I will ever be in the place I truly belong.. something which will be the ultimate “Zaman, makhan, ikhan” ( Right time, right place, right person)….afterall no man is an island , is he? Its not so easy being the Lone rider , always! But thikai cha, though the situation is repeatin itself, this time I am going beyond it. 🙂 and yah Hysh we are the partners in crime I agree…hahah:) from blog prince, to heated debates..Bal ho..Let us c ho ki hoina! LOL
    and this song……is already making me feel better ” Oh I wish I was a Punk rocker with flowers in my hair…media couldn’t buy your soul, computers were still scary ….Ignorance could still be bliss….n footballers had long hair and beard across their face”..Wow! I love Sandy Thom. wish me luck..but again there’s some strange tire burning going on in Koteshwor, Jadibuti, sinamangal area..and the radio says take a alternative way..WHat alternative way can we take when one lives near the highway??? It is the Only Damn route!WHat’s wrong with us Nepalese???!!!!I am goin insane. N yes we surely don’t have an ounce of intellectual bargaining power! Wakka Lagisakyo! Yo ta Haad bhayo.

  3. Darshan! at times..ur CHANGED TUNE delights me! u might be different from those STUPID GIRLS (pink sung well)but u r a woman NYWAY!
    and thats what ruly matters! and s…congrats….celebrate these rare moments of life….and thanks for ur romantic comment.

  4. Hey Kali, part or not a part of this group you rock. Your 🙂 despite my whatever thoughts on it all reminded me of a saying: “Be what you want and say what you feel. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
    Hope you got it…actually just wanted to say Thank you!

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