THAmeL: I’m No LongeR a Phobic!

Hey j-j-jaded
In all it’s misery
It will always be what I love and hated
And maybe take a ride to the other side
We’re thinkin’ of
We’ll slip into the velvet glove
And be jaded…….

I’m nervous, I’d told her.
Don’t worry. She was calming me down.
I was being whisked in a cab to meet her guy.
People make me nervous. I repeated.
She smiled back.
I walked out just as the food arrived. He wasn’t talking. I felt like a perfect fool.

Then a guy wrote to me of his interests, Osho, Or2k, Thamel.
I replied and he never wrote back again.

It rained. He said I rocked. I wrote and he retaliated as though it was War I had declared.
Great! I concluded.

So me, Thamel and Thamel lovers…Never Click.My Conclusion.

But she says “Thamel?”
I don’t disagree.

Garden of Dreams. Two couples.
What’s love? The hurry to kiss? I’m sarcastic.

A brown setting. Artistic tables: wide on my right narrowing to the left.

“We used to come here.”

The name’s a bit difficult to remember. They got no soup. The owner perhaps, smiles from one ear to another. I smile back.
We step out and I try to remember the name of the place. Can’t. What use?

Its Yin Yang then.

White complexion, mellow voice, independent.
Nah..The face. Lovable, comes to my mind.

Everyone loved me.
No doubt I think.

That’s where we differ. Hmmm lovable. That’s the last thing I am, last thing I will ever be.
Same, same. But DIFFERENT.

Yin Yang I realize is Symbolic! The black and the white.

White gives birth to black.
Every man sprang from a woman.

We talk and we listen. Two calls. Two friends.
One has memories associated with the place.
Yin Yang I say.
She goes “ Yeeeeeeeee Yin Yang?”
“Kina ra, would you come here too?”“Yah….”
Kunai din tar a ma pani auna ta…” I tell.

Kunai din (Someday). Encrypted message there too!!
Someday is not a day. It’s a non-existent entity.

Coffee. And it’s over. The date.
Great meeting you!
Wow! I love Thamel yaar. I tell her shocking myself.

We step out in the streets. Streets yellowed with the lights coming from the shops.

And head towards two opposite directions.
I walk hands in my jeans in the slowest pace I have ever walked in.
Can’t speeden my pace too.

The night’s beautiful. Plain heavenly. An inexplicable feeling takes over my soul. The wrong way, I’m informed.
I walk back the same way again.

“Dil ke badle me dil de tu sauda humse karle….”I can hear Alisha Chennai sing in one of the music stores.. Memories, nostalgia.

Hamro jamana ko Indi pop” I think to myself and smile. Was in the 3rd or the 4th grade then…a decade ago??!!??

Unbelievable! This pace of time.

The other store’s playing the Beatles loud and clear.

“Love,love me do
You know I love you……”

I resist the intense urge to burst into laughter.Memories again. But not that old to be nostalgic about. A guy walks behind me singing the same.

I’m happy. Simply happy. Love, I think to myself. Do I believe in it? Oh yahhhhh. His love, her love, puppy love, lifelong love, unconditional love. Love all of its kind!

What should I do? She’d asked.
No experience, what was I supposed to say?

Come, He called.

Looked at my face and talked for two hours at a row drunk. Smoke swirling around my face, suffocating. But no I am not bored.

He’d said “ Sathi ko lagi ghari ghari tension linu parcha kya …Ji”.

“Anything for my friend” I’d thought.

“Yo semester ta drunkard mukta bhanya exam ko last din, phela pariyo yar” I laugh.

“Tehi ta yar, hunda hunda usle pani ta nai bhetayo!” She laughs louder.

The person on the other side of the table keeps changing. Tom, Dick and Harry…after all life’s Just Begun!! And I need to learn a lot of things. For starters: Learn to say NOOO!

Still I passionately believe in the existence of love. Here, there, everywhere but in my life. Just better off the listener. The crazy, patient listener, one of a kind I would like to think. He he he I walk smiling at myself.

Jamal. Jame Masjid. The crowded bus and the temple. Through the branches of the leafless tree I gaze at the stars. Star Gazer…Homi Bhabha? I think it was him. School again. I smile.

Its always romantic when I’m alone!! Narcissist? Let me be.

Life…feels like a solitary romantic journey most of the times.

Hey j-j-jaded
There ain’t no baby please
When I’m shootin the breeze with her
When everything you see is a blur
And ectasy’s what you prefer
Jaded by Aerosmith



  1. It was wonderful meeting! Everything was wonderful, our Guf, hot and sour soup and coffee!And as usual Thamel was colorful!
    Me too very happy, thank you so much for listening me!

  2. yea u r definately a good listener,ani yoh kura chai sochnu parne kura ho ki why alll jadaya beleive u and start sharing there things with u hasent just happened once but every time u meet with a drunkard no matter weather he is ur class freind of bf of ur friend. yea this semester nothing like that happened but last day of of exam what happend i think u and me only can feel.k garnu dunia gool cha haina.ani i m happy that u have started loving thamel once again but i dont think its that good place for people like us who r still student to afford the bills of resturent there. ndys is far better then that least we get good food of our choice and its reasonable haina.

  3. Just Wonderful meeting you yaar! 🙂 let it only be the start of something wonderful to come later on hai…Wish you all the happiness in the world!

    yup dhungz ma ra jadya! i guess i make the perfect jodi with them. jahile pani. Koi sidha sadha bhola bhala haru baki chainan jasto lagna thalisakyo!ahhh ani duniya Goool Cha . ra malai ta ahile “Gol” bhanne sabda ma pani philosophy dekhna thaleko chu! ta bhanda ramro sanga kasle bujcha ra. mero jindagi ko “Gol” ta complete bho! I guess yours too. We have both gone through one helluva experience ! N yah Thamel is still not For the Likes of You and Me….but we need to go there together kunai din to wipe out the good bad and the ugly all memories of the place hai…The lovers and the lies , the drunkards and the dreams, the sobers and the sobs…ha ha ha Majak cha jindagi! but again its the ppl who are the problem..not the place ni, hoina ta??
    Loaded bhako din lets go to celebrate life! We and our simple truths that make a mockery of our own existence! tesaile ghari ghari lagcha no that’s not where ppl like us go…boru chiso bihani ma pashupati jaun 😉 he he he a stone statue is easier to like.

  4. —>Its always romantic when I’m alone!! Narcissist? Let me be.

    Life…feels like a solitary romantic journey most of the times.
    Choor!!..Oh no no, Gundini…:P
    mero soul phiri chorechha achyaaaaa!! Aabo bank ko locker ma lagarea haldinchhu mero soul lai!! heraula kasari chordo raichha!!..:D
    Back to discussion now!!
    If Thamel gives you phobia then there are whole lots of places in Kathmandu where I have had thousand crushes and million heartbreaks!! I should be afraid of all those places now!!..:P
    But one place compare to YOUR THAMEL for me would be Kupondole to Pulchowk area!! Spend 6 years at that area during bachelors and too many nostalgic memories and a big heartbreak for straight three times with only one I had loved till now!! Three times would you believe, I proposed and Three times was rejected kind heartedly!!..hehe..:D
    And still we remained best of friends!! But now being half world apart, I haven’t seen her in ages, Two years to be exact and maybe I am forgotten when she is getting ready to be married!!… But I still remember those precious moments and whenever I go there, nostalgia grasps in!!
    But talking about Thamel, I love that place!! it brings the different feeling, and strolling there is a different experience every time I am there!!
    Hope everything is good on your side!! and enjoy your break!!(I think u have finished ur exams innit? I have 2 remaining till Feb 2)
    Keep blogging, gorgeous with big teddy!!..:P

  5. Any bank ko locker not a nice idea 2. how abt a Swiss Bank Locker 🙂
    thousand crushes and million heartbreaks
    hmm know wht that reminds me of? a fren who likes guys with plenty of experience re! lol they finally know the right moves to make re?
    whtever the case seems like i am creating a lot of confusion with my ambiguos writings of my nabhako lovelife here..i can neither write everything nor explain..bloging sometimes is such a problematic just have to restrain yourself so much so that it gets on your Nerves.
    but the good thing is yah I read ur comment b4 i left home tis morn and it gave my day a Brilliant Start! 🙂 thanks.
    ani abt the Pulchowk -kupondole route, i walk the route..pulchowk to maitighar or baneshwor once or so a month library jada.N man again what can i say life is indeed a solitary romantic walk ( My very original dialogue there! ) he he he.. n for Thamel, have felt good abt the place when i m there on my own chahin, ke garnu Nun hunu parne kahan sansarik jal ma fasiyo 😉 ..though m not much of a Thamel person as it..don’t go there a lot, too far from where i live n don’ t know the place too..last time it reminded me of Lakeside. Romantic lageko thiyo..yah ppl sud go there and have fun, njoy the sights and sounds..

    ani exams ta over..n that’s the major problem. nothing to do! ha ha ha you have great time wit your ur books.. and then i suggest celebrate Feb ( the month of love) as they say Full Fledged Masti ka Sath! 🙂

    and here check this out new look of Alive and kickin and a nice entry too

  6. roshaji tyaso bhannele ta aafu pani ali natural bhaer hidnu paryo ni! hidda chahi america bat aako jasto, bolda nepali bolna naaune jasto ani othma glas ra flas ani gaf chahi yasto dine? suhaena hai, malai po laj bho, bhanna nahune tar bhandinchhu ma ta!

  7. Zade,
    Glad that it made ur day!! Your entry made mine to, but I forgot to thank ya!!
    had I thanked ya before for giving me these wonderful reads!! If not then here is bag full of thanks!! and but precautionary warning that u can’t stole my soul anymore, I have got it locked in hell!! ..:p..Now there u can’t certainly go!! only demons like me can!!..:D
    Have nice time out there,
    P.S.- If I haven’t told you before, I really don’t like jee added to names, So I never use that with your name (but respect for you is all in my heart) ji use garda kahan kahan sarkari office gayera ghuus diyirakheko jaso lagchha..:P

  8. For you soul locked in hell Here’s a quote from a t-shirt ” Good girls( not saying u r a gal ) like you go to heaven, bad girls like me Go Everywhere!” yo padera I think I would rather be bad! made me think BAD ROX! 🙂 n for the Ji thing hmmm I can try! LOL
    n rosha, ke ho jahann timi tyahan timra fan haru pachi pachi aunda raichan ni! how was ur xams? VOW ma timi le khatra photo session garyathiyeu, m waiting for it…ur boldness in front of the camera was impressive, i would say…

  9. zade,
    i envy the way you articulate while writing conversation, makes me feel like, i am reading a play–conversation between people back and forth, i can almost get the picture in my head of people doing so.

    and you have a panache while you write in nepali, wish i could write that well…

    ever thought of making a career in creative writing? if not hooked on saving sorry nepali asses, you should give a try at writing…

    i would be mighty glad to read home grown, austen jane that is if you keep writing about love…hehehe…

  10. Hey buddy! long time no C huh!
    whr’ve u been ?

    This morn , as I felt like browsing all these beautiful sites , after a pretty long hiatus….It was like OOOOOHOOOOOO……thr is an awful development…..Thr is life in blog yaar ! damn life, like thr is nowhere else. N see what ! I’ve been hell missin this life ..but everything meseems so stupid u know…YUKKKK! ( whatta 2nd thought!)..but u definitely’ve been rockin…hehehehe..FEELINGS failed me…I was just feelin like keep on writing…but thr is no agenda….

    Oh yes . I can feel ur words . Your word revolves , intensifies and then rocks…Yes u r that damn ARTICULATER………..And a good listener of course . U were a GRAND company . And so was she. It must have been a gr8 combination . J chha coffe ma chha yaar! j chha guff ma chha..j chha coffee-guff ma chha……

    Now dont u ask whr I’ve been cocooning and what’s goin within and around..U know it…Everyone can sense it….Everyday the sun sets for me as soon as it rises…BG ? Oh yeah ! I must say..but the output is literally 0 . I’ve been living this life like अन्धाले हात्ती छामे जसरी …unable to reckon any छेउ टुप्पो of this ssssaalaaa mundane life . But still living . Living to see another day . Living to die another day .

    Keep on bloggin – Long live blogdom for Freedom!

  11. I for one, love Thamel! Thamel has the ambiance, the smells and sounds, the color and craziness, hippiness…na? Thamel is special for many people. That includes me22222!!! Java man. Java rocks!! Nway I am so glad ur m”ee”tating went well 🙂

  12. Zadejee, ma roshako fan haina. malai tyasta unnatural manchhe man pardain, artificialharu just mukhle euta kura bhanne ani kam arko garne garnu bhaena matra bhaneko, KYA!

  13. Your comment is making me fly Gols je 🙂 Thanks for writing such great words!..i don’t know what to be told sth like that from someone whose writing is just Unbelivable! you’re being humble saying that..have no words..other than Thank you once again and for being jane austen he he he ah..I wish there I could replace the word “Love” wit sth else first! 🙂 Overuse bhayo hai…

    N avi? kata harako. ani blog kina banda gareko yar? ma ta timile kholchau bhanera kurda kurda thakisaken! Come on yar, how can a Blog queen just vanish into thin year. I for one am still hopeful you will be BACK! AM sure many are too. and thanks for the comment too…ha ha ha ani this blog world is so teeny weeny hai everyone knows everybody else..meeting her was Great, meeting you was a wonderful experience too. Neeli…reminds me of you..ani ho je cha Coffee guff mai cha, milauncha yehi, chutauncha yehi..Coffee and Conversations..that’s what life’s all about hoina ta 😉 Am waiting……

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