In all it’s misery
It will always be what I love and hated
And maybe take a ride to the other side
We’re thinkin’ of
We’ll slip into the velvet glove
And be jaded…….
I’m nervous, I’d told her.
Don’t worry. She was calming me down.
I was being whisked in a cab to meet her guy.
People make me nervous. I repeated.
She smiled back.
I walked out just as the food arrived. He wasn’t talking. I felt like a perfect fool.
Then a guy wrote to me of his interests, Osho, Or2k, Thamel.
I replied and he never wrote back again.
It rained. He said I rocked. I wrote and he retaliated as though it was War I had declared.
Great! I concluded.
So me, Thamel and Thamel lovers…Never Click.My Conclusion.
But she says “Thamel?”
I don’t disagree.
Garden of Dreams. Two couples.
What’s love? The hurry to kiss? I’m sarcastic.
A brown setting. Artistic tables: wide on my right narrowing to the left.
“We used to come here.”
The name’s a bit difficult to remember. They got no soup. The owner perhaps, smiles from one ear to another. I smile back.
We step out and I try to remember the name of the place. Can’t. What use?
Its Yin Yang then.
White complexion, mellow voice, independent.
Nah..The face. Lovable, comes to my mind.
Everyone loved me.
No doubt I think.
That’s where we differ. Hmmm lovable. That’s the last thing I am, last thing I will ever be.
Same, same. But DIFFERENT.
Yin Yang I realize is Symbolic! The black and the white.
White gives birth to black.
Every man sprang from a woman.
We talk and we listen. Two calls. Two friends.
One has memories associated with the place.
Yin Yang I say.
She goes “ Yeeeeeeeee Yin Yang?”
“Kina ra, would you come here too?”“Yah….”
“Kunai din tar a ma pani auna ta…” I tell.
Kunai din (Someday). Encrypted message there too!!
Someday is not a day. It’s a non-existent entity.
Coffee. And it’s over. The date.
Great meeting you!
Wow! I love Thamel yaar. I tell her shocking myself.
We step out in the streets. Streets yellowed with the lights coming from the shops.
And head towards two opposite directions.
I walk hands in my jeans in the slowest pace I have ever walked in.
Can’t speeden my pace too.
The night’s beautiful. Plain heavenly. An inexplicable feeling takes over my soul. The wrong way, I’m informed.
I walk back the same way again.
“Dil ke badle me dil de tu sauda humse karle….”I can hear Alisha Chennai sing in one of the music stores.. Memories, nostalgia.
“Hamro jamana ko Indi pop” I think to myself and smile. Was in the 3rd or the 4th grade then…a decade ago??!!??
Unbelievable! This pace of time.
The other store’s playing the Beatles loud and clear.
“Love,love me do
You know I love you……”
I resist the intense urge to burst into laughter.Memories again. But not that old to be nostalgic about. A guy walks behind me singing the same.
I’m happy. Simply happy. Love, I think to myself. Do I believe in it? Oh yahhhhh. His love, her love, puppy love, lifelong love, unconditional love. Love all of its kind!
What should I do? She’d asked.
No experience, what was I supposed to say?
Come, He called.
Looked at my face and talked for two hours at a row drunk. Smoke swirling around my face, suffocating. But no I am not bored.
He’d said “ Sathi ko lagi ghari ghari tension linu parcha kya …Ji”.
“Anything for my friend” I’d thought.
“Yo semester ta drunkard mukta bhanya exam ko last din, phela pariyo yar” I laugh.
“Tehi ta yar, hunda hunda usle pani ta nai bhetayo!” She laughs louder.
The person on the other side of the table keeps changing. Tom, Dick and Harry…after all life’s Just Begun!! And I need to learn a lot of things. For starters: Learn to say NOOO!
Still I passionately believe in the existence of love. Here, there, everywhere but in my life. Just better off the listener. The crazy, patient listener, one of a kind I would like to think. He he he I walk smiling at myself.
Jamal. Jame Masjid. The crowded bus and the temple. Through the branches of the leafless tree I gaze at the stars. Star Gazer…Homi Bhabha? I think it was him. School again. I smile.
Its always romantic when I’m alone!! Narcissist? Let me be.
Life…feels like a solitary romantic journey most of the times.
There ain’t no baby please
When I’m shootin the breeze with her
When everything you see is a blur
And ectasy’s what you prefer
Jaded by Aerosmith