HAPPY HOLI!! ( the threats n joys)

I was a little girl, five most probably. She was in Grade one while my sister was smaller still. Face? I don’t remember, nor the dress (which I generally do). But I bet we made a cute gang of three 🙂 . It was Holi.

We hit a pedestrian with a lola the bossy biggies had given us. I have blurred memories of the event. So, don’t exactly remember if it was the victim or another gentleman but someone came to us and told us“ Baato ma hindirako manchelai hirkaune hunna”. The three of us ran back home,scared vowing “ Abadekhi nahenne hai!” (We won’t do that from now onwards.) Fighters that was what we were but very obedient then (an extremely rare trait in the kids that age these days!). Ha ha ha . That’s my oldest memory of Holi.


Then it was hostel. Holi, though a holiday wasn’t “Home Going” day as the rest for many years. She’d just smear the red color on our cheeks and it was over. I’ve never celebrated “Holi” but once. And I’d love to share something about that. How about digitizing “that” experience! Let me type what I‘ve written on my diary that day in history hai:

March 28
The Day ofTurmoil
Chaitra 16

Hey Diary. This is Daz back to action. Yesterday was Holi. We played it with ourselves pouring buckets of H20 on one another. Had a cool time. But before that we played Holi with the neighborhood boyz. They threw ink (blue) lolas. Gave some to us. हामीले हानेको एउटै लोला लागेन । Was great fun. They had music and dance on their terrace. Since then I haven’t been able to concentrate in my studies. I just keep thinking about them or the masti. I think this is a phase of adolescence. But why did it have to occur when I have only 3 days to go for the greatest exam of my school life………….”

Did I dare something by putting a page of my diary on the World Wide Web? Am wondering if I revealed anything there!! Ha ha ha but who dare ask me anything about that? After all it is a virtual existence here! But soooo wish the “Gang of 14” would read this and discuss every minute detail of the day and laugh about it!!….Damn memories. bring nothing but nostalgia…..

But let me leave behind the memories and talk of “Holi” today. My sister’s experience would be very contemporary and hip. She was walking on the roads of Kupondole with a friend yesterday. A group of boys (inclusive of all ages!!) sat nearby well- armed with “Lolas” and the likes. The two of them walked past warning “ Hanne hoina hai” ( Don’t you dare hit us). Unaware of my sister’s wrath, they hit her anyway. Then the escalation of Anger To Danger! She picked up a stone lying nearby and hurled it at their direction yelling “Hanchas”. (How dare you hit me?) Though it hit none of them fortunately or unfortunately, you decide. She walked up to the guys and started yelling. A boy told her “Maile haneko hoina” (I didn’t hit you).

She demanded “Yahan manche Darauna baseko!” (You want to scare people?), Nahaneko bhaye ho yesai gari kam napako jasto lola display garera basnu!! (If you didn’t then stay here as a useless bum keeping the “lolas” on display!”

Then they came across a girl carrying a plastic filled with water. Her anger wasn’t cooling down anytime soon so she commented “के पानी बोकिराखेको ? फोहोरी देखिराखेको छ, गएर नुहाउनु बोरु!”
(Why are you with water? Know what?You look dirty. Rather, go and take a bath!)

Her acts are gender-balanced for sure!!

Now, she’s telling me “That is the problem with us girls. लुत्त परेर हिँडेर केही हुन्न, गएर चुट्नुपर्छ । Tit for tat, eye for an eye. That’s the way. You should speak for yourself.”

How can I ever disagree with the “Pataka!” The problem is she is ALWAYS right!

मलाई लाग्यो, यो उत्ताउलो लोला संस्कृत्रि्रतिको व्रि्रोह थियो । आक्रमणको निसानामा म परे पनि यस घटनामार्फ उनीहरूले समस्त पुरुषलाई चेतावनी दिएको महसुस गरे“ । ‘खबरदार † हामी समानताको युगमा प्रवेश गरिसकेका छौं र नारी भएकै कारणले चुप लागेर बस्दैनौं,’ उनीहरूको सन्देश प्रस्ट देखियो ।

धेरै वर्षेखि युवतीहरू होलीको आगमनस“गै पुरुषको लोलाअस्त्रबाट प्रताडित छन् । होलीको समापन नहुन्जेल उनीहरू जीउ र ज्यान जोगाउ“दै बाटामा हि“ड्नर्ुपर्छ । तर अब उनीहरू जाग्न थालेका छन् । होलीको लोकतान्त्रिक महत्त्व यही हुनर्ुपर्छ । किशोरीहरू घरको छाना, गल्ली र टोलमा पुरुषस“ग बदला लिन तयार भएर बसेका छन् । त्यसैले मेरा प्रिय बालक, किशोर र युवा पुरुष साथीहरू † हामीले मनमा आक्रमण, प्रतिआक्रमण र बदलाको भाव नराखेर होली मनाउनर्ुपर्छ ।

अब होलीका निश्चित आचारसंहिता तोक्नर्ुपर्छ । त्यसको कडा पालना, अनुशरण र अनुगमन हुनर्ुपर्छ । होइन भने थुप्रै सोझा पुरुष र महिला लोला एवं रङ आक्रमणको सिकार हुन सक्छन् । होलीमा घरबाट निस्कनै नसक्ने अवस्थासमेत उत्पन्न हुन सक्छ ।

होलीको आचारसंहिता by जितेन्द्र साह (published in the Kantipur Daily ( Falgun 18, 2063)

I personally wonder what is the damn problem with “Boys to men” everyone! What pleasure does one get by hitting a “female form”? Last year was walking in Jamal area at around seven in the evening. Obviously it was dark and moreover raining. And then I get hit by a LOLA! I mean a lola in the rain, in the dark??? What is the fun in that psycho??

I have escaped “Lolas” this year but others haven’t. So there’s no point in being happy. Moreover getting away unscathed doesn’t mean you weren’t targeted either! This has to stop! The thought of being a possible target never comes to my mind while leaving home. That’s the “Bichar Bigyan” influence. Why think of it and have it landing on me? But I’m no thought scientist so they come flying out of the blue anyway. And I realize amidst relief (that it didn’t hit me) and fear (that it could have hit me) what a tormenting existence it is for us girls. We always have to walk out in constant fear. It’s such a psychological torture, yaar. I mean the “fear” hovering around you. Yesterday I had seen a bus conductor with a lola, half his body leaning outside the bus door, searching for a target? God knows what he had in mind. What the hell is going on? What is the goddamn problem with “Lola-hitters”?

Well, that might be a difficult question to answer. But I sure know the solution. Its “ गाला रन्किने झाप्पु” As my Grama( GURU AMA aka sister) says . Solution continued: Eye for an eye. “Dhunga” (stone) for a “Lola” (balloon filled with water).

Why does such a happy occasion have to be a Threat? Why can’t everyone be more sensible and celebrate? Why can’t it be a mutual exchange of joy? Why can’t we have a memorandum of understanding of some kind? If only I were Gyanendra and could “force” everyone to listen to my “Baktabyas”!! he he he 🙂

For now I’m just happy, in the security of my home lost in memories. Am back to the “day of turmoil”! Getting soaked to the skin with buckets and buckets of water being poured on me and just living the moment….

So wish you all a Very Very HAPPY HOLI!!!
CELEBRATE LIFE IN ALL ITS COLOURSAND SHADES!!

SPLASH!!
That’s my “miss the target” lola for you. Hope it HIT you this time!! 🙂

Futher reads:
Holi Horror in Alive and Kickin

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19 comments

  1. hey z,
    happy holi.

    i sure rem our last holi in school. u rem mundre? actually i don rem his face….me being the last to know what’s goin on as always….. n mam givin us a good long lecture n me havin to nod my head in approval the whole time coz the speech seemed directed right at me. n u rem the water? more specifically, the color n the smell? 😀 but it was great fun. (compared to the miserable red dots on our forehead, n if we were lucky, two long red lines on our cheeks. i mean, did they really believe it to be fun?)

    u rem the time we had our karate test n had to fight an opponent? i was limping the whole damn day. couldn’t even stand still when i was taking a bath later. hav to kick those guys who corner up girls durin holi…. u know which kick rt?

    i heard there were gangs of boys even in the main roads targeting bikes with girls in ’em. rowdy maniacs. should be beaten black n blue. wish i cud shout like ur sis.

    n’e’way, mp3’s not ready. he’s findin it diff to collect all those songs. will giv it to u as soon as i can.

  2. Hey K, Wow! your comment just made my morning!!! Yeahhhhhhh I remember everything yaar, from mundre to his bhai ( Jack the Padakku kya) ha ha ha ( me being the one who doesn’t forget anything!!lol) even remember the yellow roses on the study table..but I think I mistook Mundre( oh..I realized I’ve forgotten his face too!) for the gatekeeper once saying that “knowing smile” and all of you thrashed me.

    Ah, Karate.. Miss it yaar. Sometimes remember Guru. Yup the kick Know it very well! ha ha ha but know better idea ( Budhokaido) ma pratical tips to stay safe dherai rahechan..( now that holi is gone could be helpful in other cases). If you find anyone threatening pinch their thighs, or catch the thumb ( all his/her concentration goes to that area) and you can escape re! And..remember Budi ko mama…the intl karate player he taught her some tricks re, she’d taught me but that needs real life display! ha ha ha But know what, I went out at around 4 and not a single lola then which felt absolutely GREAT!

    yah my sister, she is something yaar!last time we were walking together and a “madheesi samudaya”ko manche deliberately dashed against me and she yelled ” Bandar!” at the top of her lungs! ha ha ha everyone looked at us and of course I was laughing like anything.

    N for the MP3 ah..I’m sorry for the trouble hai..you can skip if the numbers are hard to find ..will be alright. Thank him from my side hai for all the trouble. I mean,, I feel kasto kasto…..to do that ( not thank him but to use him sort….) la..hope u don’t scold me for this chahin..ke garnu testai lagcha 🙂 Thank you so much.

    TO Hiv:
    Well, dear I didn’t study in Mahendra Bhawan, Its just that I know they call “grama” to their teachers ( I liked the term) so use in here and there…. 🙂

    Happy Holi Charitrawan Ji, tapaiko naam anusar ta tapaile kasaile taknu bhayena hola ni 😉

    To Juggy:
    Damn my word play. Damn its meanings, m all entangled in its mess! Ab kya kahen? 🙂

  3. Really, it was a great festival and a very nice time to make our life colorful forgetting all the tensions even only for a day but it gives a very good satisfaction for the day. But, now a days, there is increasing a very bad cultures and that is making this great festival as why this comes? for most of the people speacially for girls it has become a curse. Anyway, we should celebrate as a one of the rares, great and nice “chahad”.

    Okayyyyy, happy belated holly for the people of Kathmandu and happy holi for the people outside kathmandu.

  4. excuse me…. don’t say “…use him…” u really need to take some lessons on relationships, baby. k garideu bhanda thik huncha k garideu bhanda hunna. n tht sorta things. maybe i hav to be Oprah 4 u, “it’s fine to ask for something,honey. we’re only human. n if u hav any trouble actin like normal ppl, then look into ur PAST… into ur CHILDHOOD… tht’s where the answer is” (she n the psycho Dr. Robin)

    nyway, he’s a bit busy now so i think he’ll give u everythin he has n u can choose urself… it thts ok 4 u. c ya tom.

  5. hey charitrawan chela, read ur post abt charitrahin chelis. what’s up with u? gettin too much of the porn bit? got nothin inside ur brain except 4 vaginas n penises? u seem obsessed with it. u said u haven’t “experienced penetration” even at 36. well, tht might explain ur behaviour. but get a hold on it before u go crazy. u shud see a psychologist, man. b4 u lose it all n turn a pervert.

  6. asha,
    that was all gaff.
    i m not chela.
    i m not 36.
    thanks for reading and your suggestion, however.
    zade, apologies for making your site platform.

  7. Well K, if only everyone could see Me through my Major Flaws honey. yah dear Pleaseeeee, please, please be my Oprah! I think I am still living that Childhood, presuming everyone to be that “know me inside out fren” sab bujne….and if I ever needed an Oprah the relationship guru in my life that would be Now!! 🙂 and yah sure it would be great ( for the songs) ..well, we mayn’t be meeting anytime soon bcuz of the project….btw my partner is sooooooo sweet, the sweetest guy I’ve ever come across! he he he ..but for now dimag ma eutai geet matra airacha:
    Rain outside my window pouring down
    What now, your gone, my fault, I’m sorry
    Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
    Now it’s, too late, to turn it around
    I’m sorry for the tears I made you cry
    I guess this time it really is goodbye
    You made it clear when you said
    I just don’t love you no more

    Have you heard it? Its’s by Craig david. Kool cha… Anyways thank you for seeing me as I am dear.And again thankful to she and pscyho Dr Robin 🙂 ( btw Dr Robin and psycho, I don’t think the Doc relates to the “p” word)

    N for Asha, N Charitrawan ji…well, yah I would prefer you guys not making this a platform for a discussion that is totally irrelevant here..though leaving the comments as they are so hoping that its not continued….. I would be thankful for that.

  8. yah got the Robin part though I understood it in two ways! one Oprah’s Robin ( earlier would feel her so intruding but now I have realized she’s mostly direct and Right!)n arko chahin a person.. yah back …ha ha ha wanted to write of the bad xperience to feeeel halka but talked to you hoina ta? So may be will write of the good experience only….and as Hysh told me: I am being able to control bloggin rather than bloggin controlling me!! wow….it felt sooooooooooooo good to receive such compliment!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  9. i think u r the one of the regular blogger of nepal n malai lagcha u will be so i have seen your comment about blog in infotiser hope u will get your destiny nearby you sooner
    althoug i am beginner try to write some thing for me la
    zeroed

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