Pokhara ( Detour)

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

“Teso vaye eklai keta sanga ghumda kasto hundo rahecha ta?” Mom asked. (So how does it feel to go around with a guy alone?”

I was in no mood to go back to the experience. “Kasto ni hundaina rahecha, ke hunu ni?” ( Nothing. Nothing much.)

Should have been an experience given your background esp schooling?” she continued.

“Ok here it the answer to your “Yakshya Prasna” I replied. I will relate you the instances and you draw the conclusion.

shoes n slippers

My feet on a shoe lying on the road…


Day 1: We got on the microbus. The two of us. The first time I was out of town on my own. The first time I was going on a journey with a guy. No not my boyfriend. My classmate. The lady in front of us was keen on what we were talking about. I felt self-conscious. He did too.We sat on the last seat, we two and a two ladies with a kid. They got off at Abukhairini. A middle-aged man joined us. He looked outside the window all the while. Sometimes he would turn to look at us and turn away instantly as though he weren’t supposed to do so. I know that act. I do that quite often, in buses, in restaurants, on the road when I see any couple together. But he continued talking and I continued listening.

Institute of forestry

Forestry Campus

We got off in Buddhachowk. The conductor showed us the way to “Forestry Campus.” It started raining. I bought an umbrella. Asked him to do the same. He didn’t. He called his aunt’s quarter. “ I have a friend too” I could hear him say. “Lyauna ta” she replied (he told me later). I was tensed. I bet she isn’t expecting a friend from the opposite sex. I told him. Practiced the best possible way to greet “ Namastey” a hundred times!! We reached and there was no “Namastey” at all!! Almost felt as though I were meeting my “Mother in Law” for the first time!! Ha ha ha (If it feels that way then I’m over with marriage too!God…what a scary experience)

mt

View of the mountains from the campus premises

We were needed for the program the next day. So headed to Chipledhunga ( Café Almond). Came back to the quarters. It was already late. It was a one storied house. Four rooms on the ground floor and two above. I was shown my room. His was across the hallway. And she said “I’m going to sleep upstairs”. The declaration almost came as a shock to me. Upstairs??!! Why not here? I wanted to ask. I didn’t. And it felt so damn uncomforty. To me it felt as though it were her duty to sleep on the same floor at least!! I was surely going insane with this “Silent treatment”. Locked the door and slept unable to understand anything!

bindyabasini temple

Bindyabasini

Day 2: R Dai took us to his hotel. He was working on his laptop on his bed. The two of us sat on another across him. It was raining cats and dogs. The lights went off. I instinctively grabbed my handkerchief and cell phone lying on the bed and walked out. He was out after a while and said “ Ke ho Contingency Management( apatkalin vyabasthapan) gareko ho ki kaso?”

“Ho ho Testai, testai ho.”

CONTINGENCY MANAGEMENT ( Apatkalin Vyabasthapan). The most frequently used term in the entire trip!!
fewa

Fewa lake in the Rain

The NPC guy couldn’t make it because of the rain. We headed to the YI Contact office and then for some coffee. Café Mac Alley, Chipledunga. Well, I found Chipledhunga to be quite like New Baneshwor here, with so many places to eat, hustle and bustle. Similar but not the same. And at around the same time a friend of mine was in NBnshwr, I gave a short sms update and the reply I got was : “Tapain ta tyahan pura purush haru bata gheriyera basnu vako cha, ma ta yahan eklai” ha ha ha its hard to be surrounded by “purushes” for long, I tell you! Still being with two is easier than being with only one!

It felt great to be with a person who can be taken as some kind of profounder of Youth movement in Nepal. I was full of questions and for the very first time in my life I wasn’t holding back either.

“Why so few women in this field?” I inquired.

“Well, earlier we had more women in the board than men. Later they got married, got better jobs. There are so many opportunities for women and when they get better offers we can’t tell them to stay back as well. And the marriage, family thing is always there. Its sometimes harder for them too. I really have a tough time convincing the parents of girls when they have to go abroad for programs. The example I give most frequently is this: “Your daughter is like a seed. You can make her a Bonsai or help her grow into a tree.” Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. You could have had problems too saying you are going to Pokhara with a guy. Traveling alone and moreover staying at his aunt’s place. It’s harder for women.”

Phew. I was so glad to be hearing someone say that finally instead of giving me questioning glances and then that overbearing silence. So, there I was raising a million questions in people’s minds. None in my parents though. I got the call Friday evening, went home told of the program, packed my bags and left home the next morning. My chance to grow, I explained. No questions asked. And the experience was something like my parents letting me go and play with fire and learn that it burnt rather than telling me “It burns” first. Ha ha ha Does it sound like I have a way with words? Whatever you perceive.

the road

It was late again. And I was scared, plain scared.

“Anjan sahar, anjan sadak and akeli ladki. Aren’t you scared?” He asked.
We were inside the forestry campus territories.

“I am. Wasn’t yesterday but today I am.” I replied. “I go home quite late in Kathmandu too. But I guess I feel more secure while alone than when I am with a guy. Can you walk on the other side of this street” I continued.

“Why?”

“Just. I want it that way. That’s why. “
That’s…

“Chuchho. ( Mean) I know but that’s me. I can’t pretend.”

Finally reached the quarters and never, never in my life I was sooooooo relieved!! And till date I can’t understand why I was scared. I have come home as late as 11:45 in the evening. Walked alone, scared then too, I don’t deny but scared more because of the presence of a black cat than the absence of any human being by my side. Perhaps, everyone turns into a stranger in a strange town…I don’t know…And the worst thing anyone can go through is the feeling of being vulnerable…wish no one ever feels that way…damn that was scary.

manipal
Manipal hospital

Returning back:

The microbuses are a faster option to travel. The microbus stand is near Prithvi chowk. We went to the counter. The price was more than what we had paid while coming to Pokhara. He was bargaining. I just wanted to be back, whatever the price.

“Name?” The girl on the counter asked.

“You can write whatever you want.” He said in an attempt to bargain. I understood but at the same time looking at the reaction on the face of the woman realized that it created room for doubts. As though we didn’t want our names there, like runaway folks!! Later he told me the exact thought crossed his mind too!! God, psycho! And then a guy said: you can have these seats 12, 13, 14.

“Can’t we have the backseats?” I asked.
“Kina nahuni ni vaihalcha ni!” (Why not? You can). The guy answered with a bit more enthusiasm than required.

Damn, last seats. My mind was again interpreting the Last seat prem jodi implications. Actually we had come in the last seats, it had been easy so wanted the same.

………….phew……..so I am so soooooooooo happy to be back. So relieved that I can have a hot cup of coffee at New Baneshwor again and not in Chipledhunga! I don’t want to go through that “ No,no hoina hami boyfriend-girlfriend hoina self-conscious phase!!” Not that it the trip was entirely a bad experience. It wasn’t. The program was highly intellectually stimulating, learnt a lot, (will write if it figures somewhere above the bottom in my priority list! 🙂 ) it was a great start but a terrible end. I come back learning more of life, people and once again realize ….. The world is not at all the way I take it to be. And I just pray that it is not too late before I know what it is like…

( This must have been boring but hope you liked the pics 🙂 nblogging is therapy…yaar, my manipal hospital when I am ill! 😉

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Dixie Chicks, The – Not Ready To Make Nice

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6 comments

  1. Your pics looks like you are ready to kick some ass there!! 😛
    Anyways it was so wonderful to see the pic of my fav place after soo long!! I wish I can be there right now!! But I can’t there lies the misery!! 😦
    BTW, It is typical to stereotype when a gal and a boy walks or travel together; I had pretty best girl “friends” and used to hang a lot with them!! Ah well I was stereotyped and tagged along with lots of them; less do I cared!! 🙂
    U were mean to that guy; Oh god!! Go to other side of road re!! If that was said to me I would have stared that my fiery cat eyes to you and would have walked away from there directly to Ktm. 😛
    Nice reading you as always fren!! Keep rocking!! 🙂

  2. And yeah!! Can u post some more pics of Pkr!! I would rather chitta bujhaing with photos! 🙂
    Oh god!! I feel nostalgic!! 😐

  3. i can understand how u have felt ……… but what i think is that …… u could had some more good memories if u were not afraid ………
    areeeeeeeee babab national college ko boys haru lai trust nagre koslai garne haina ra ?
    whatever it is i know u had a good expereince and more than that u have learnt good things as well as bad ………
    whenever we r travelling in lalitpur yatyat ( u know who we means) when we sit in the last seat everyone do stare at us bahne pachi its obvious they would stare to u too …….. but who cares until n unless u know u are not doing anything wrong haina ra ?
    well darling this blog made me too learn the hardships of ur life hehehhe
    take care
    chow

  4. (email address for letting you know who I am! 😛 )

    Signed off to read this piece offline. Needless to say, it’s bloody dialup.

    read once. words first…
    ………….
    .. then again. words plus photos. (you know what i did in the interim……..)

    your pose in front of manipal made me laugh. i donno why. you are clever enough to perceive…anything . bhanum? pose is so antiquated it reminded me some pics of indians posing in studio carrying radio in one hand…trying to show off how modern they are …heheheh i could not tell you what i really wanted to…kasto bhane ni… funny pics somebody had forwarded me…. indians haru studio ma bike ko chheu maa pose diera baseko, radio bokera pose dieko…..hope you have seen those pics…..

    then noticed “returning back.” laughed again. it happens. it’s easy to point out or find out other’s mistakes. returning back…. i am laughing again.

    Redundancy bhanchhan kyare esto lai:
    blunder mistake, return back, circle around….hehehehe ……estai estai….. i m naughty hai…. tara i am decent pani ni…. 🙂

    don’t mind hai. when my sister makes such mistakes i alway poke fun at her. same with you now.

    You can correct that mistake though And delete or edit this comment also
    (wah rhyme bhaechha 🙂 )

    ani one thing i want to share with you:

    once mero euta saathi and his didi were sangsangai. another “very smart” (not oversmart though) saathi le didi lai girlfriend bhanthaanechha. ani aankha sankaera bhanechha: “Ke ho… Khoob dulindaichha ni!”

    my first saathi’s complain was: at least he would have looked at our faces. very similar faces of siblings. saale…….

    hehehe it happens ke.

    kina thaha chha? WE ARE PURITAN.
    we mistake two person of opposite sex for a couple.

    ani arko kuraa ke bhane ni Zade,

    Once my aama’s second cousin (mama) saw me with my lady friends in new road. friends are friends. no sex barrier. no age barrier. why to avoid them? at least i don’t.

    the mama is like friend. contemporary. but you know he then started teasing me by saying “bhanja babu ke ho ke chha maiyaa haru ko halkhabar.”

    “khoob keti dulainchha ni.”

    “new road tira kati dulinchha ta aajabholi”

    though not shocked , i never expected such cheap comments from him.

    ke garnu estai chha….

    heheheh

    ani arko kura ke bhane ni …. hijo i saw many couples in basantapur. in the evening.

    tried to imagine myself with someone. failed ke. kunai pani face yaad aaena. friends are friends. aru kohi dimaag maa aayena. just wanted to “imagine the experience.” tara failed 100 per cent.

    i remembered your “compatibility” ko kuraa. but forgot your face. at least photo could remind me now. but you are so cunning. you always blurr your face. any special reason?

    e! ani arko kuraa…

    when i was in high school many many many many many many years ago with my cousins i went to manokamana. tyo abukhairini tira bata hindera.

    ma, dai, didi ani bahini (cousins).

    baato maa ta sabai le haami lai couple po bhanthaaneko ke. euta patamurkha le ta dai sanga bhani halyo tapain haru ko kahile bihe bhaeko?
    hehehe

    hope you laughed at my comment. if you did not i wasted my time. 😛 😛 😛

    (i tried my best to write in your conversational style tara failed.

    Lesson: originality and mimicry are at the opposite poles. 🙂 )

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